Stuck

how does it feel to be in love
so much of giving without noticing
so much of taking without thanking
I can't do that..

i cannot go all in
I am always watching for myself
I am measuring all my shares
I keep counts

I am always in love
Just that, I am always ready for breakup
Apart from the void
I wonder you affect me or not.

I want to go all in
I definitely want to change.
I don't know where to start.
But wait, what if...?